Mad Hot Math

On Friday between 1:30 and 3:30  a memo was put in my box that said teachers who disagreed with the planned uniforms could get together and suggest an alternate (as a staff) by the end of the day.  See?  They were serious about involving us in the process!

On an unrelated but funnier (to me) note, a student confessed that, as a child, she thought white people’s poo would be white…or maybe clear.  This was prompted by a confession that another student thought all puppies were boys and all cats were girls from another student.  I agreed with the puppy thing.

IF administration made an announcement at 8am that crochet hairnet style hats were still hats and should not be worn in the building

and IF I sent someone to the office because she refused to take hers off in the building

and IF she returned with a note from the principal that she would be allowed to wear hers….

WHY do we believe that uniforms are a good idea?  We don’t enforce any of the rules we have now.  Except the ones for teachers.

Some PTA members have suggested that teacher morale might go down if teachers are required to wear the same uniform as their students.   Central office doesn’t care.

So, the school board voted 3-2 Monday in favor of uniforms for students AND TEACHERS.  The proposed uniform is the same for both teachers and students.

I am on the verge of having to wear khaki pants and a polo style shirt in one of the school colors with solid white tennis shoes every day.

For safety, according to the superintendent.

The school board meeting was held at noon and the agenda was not published prior to the meeting.  Typically, meetings are in the evening and agendas published a week in advance.

Guess what topic 30 minutes of every class since then has been devoted to!  To the ‘They can’t suspend us all’ school of thought.

The principal left school early with a stomach virus.

One of my students threw up on the floor and it took the janitor about 32 minutes to arrive.  We had to sit in here with it.  He did not even try for a garbage can..he just laid down on the floor and threw up.

The man I had lunch duty with just told me he lost 5 pounds this weekend!!  (Thanks to a stomach virus).  He might even lose more because he still can’t hold food down.

Thank you.  Thank you all for making sure you came today to breathe my air and make me breathe yours.  I sincerely hope you all feel better, but I wish you would have stayed home today.

The kid who got sick at 8:30am was still in the nurse’s office at 12:30 because nobody would come get him.

Yesterday was a snow day and it was a nice little bonus.

Lately, we’ve been chastised a lot for not taking attendance correctly.  So here goes a chronicle of my adventures in taking attendance today.

Student A was in the gym this morning during my morning duty.  He was marked absent.  I called the attendance office, but she said it wasn’t her job to page an administrator.  So, I called the main office.  They told me he was in ISS, although it wasn’t maked on my attendance screen and he wasn’t on the list of students e-mailed to me as being in ISS.  Ten seconds later, I got a pop-up demanding work for him in the ISS room.

Student B was marked present but wasn’t in my room.  During my call to attendance I mentioned this.  She argued with me.  He was absent during first block.  But not marked absent on my screen.

I sent a student to ISS with some work.  Two of the students on the ISS list were not actually in ISS.  So they sent the work back.

That’s  a single block.  Of one day.  All the blocks are like this.

Today’s bellwork question was:    If you could teach a class at SHS, (one we already have or one you invent) what would it be?  Why?

Here are some of my favorite answers:

I would teach U.S. History because I am a Civil War buff and I could tell people so many stories passed down from my family.

P.E because you don’t do anything but watch people play basketball.

If I was a teacher I would teach them how not to talk when teachers are talking.

*State* Manners:  to teach kids how to act when in public, when they eat and how to talk to adults.

I would teach LIFE because everyone needs to know why they are learning everything at school and when they are going to use it because many students ask when they are going to use it.

Underwater basket weaving to keep the students entertained.

P.E. because you get to play all day.

I wouldn’t want to teach a class.

Math because I want to teach students better things in it.

I would teach a sex class b/c high school kids are the right aget to find out about sex.

Home Ec. because I love to cook and eat and I think it would be fun for the students.

I would invent a clothes making class because I love clothes and fashion.

Literature becuase it would be the perfect place to bask in my own intelligence.

Science experiments because science is interesting.

P.E. so I can have fun with my students and not be uptight and a stuckup teacher.

Modeling and photography because that is what I enjoy doing.

It would be sleep class you just sleep the intier time because we need a sleep class here so we are not tired.

Boxing class because one day when I get a little older I would want to be a boxer.

I wouldn’t teach a class even if I could, but a class I would like to see the high school come up with is welding but I don’t want to teach it.

I would teach a *my nickname* class

I would teach the special ed.  class cause they need lots of help.

I would teach a higean (he meant hygeine) class because being clean is very important so that you can concentrate in class.

I would teach theatre.  If I am awake and nice to people at 7:00am and nice to you, I am acting.  I love theatre.

I would help the slow people because I like to help people that needs help.

Rock history and theory.  Cause I’m cool like that.

Analysis of Will Ferrell movies.

P.E. because I like the gym.

There is talk that school will be cancelled tomorrow due to weather.  The highs are below freezing and sleet and snow are predicted.  I don’t remember that happening for days in a row ever before.  My feet have been cold since I got out of bed this morning.

If they cancel school, will they take it out of our Easter vacation later?

I was more than a little bit bitter about being asked to report to work at 7:15 on Monday, January 4th.   Traditionally, I could drive to work AFTER the sunrise on inservice days.  But, tradition be damned, Mr. Square had a plan.

At 7:15 I reported to the auditorium.  The lights were off.  I was alone but for the janitor vacuuming.   I went to my classroom and dropped off my jacket and picked up a notebook and pen.  At 7:18 there were two other people at the auditorium asking each other if they were in the right place.  We waited around outside the front doors.  At 7:20, Mr. Square went in the auditorium, so we did too.  He put on a slide show of educational cartoons with Miley Cyrus music in the background.  At 7:45, following 8 repetitions of  “The Climb”  he strolled in and welcomed us.  People continued to stroll in and at 8:00,  he reminded us the importance of arriving on time.  I have the urge to put the preceding in all caps or bold.  He was 30 minutes late.  Thirty minutes I could have slept or had a cup of hot chocolate.

1st block — I sat through and hour and forty minutes of a pre-algebra class where we learned to solve two step equations.  It was made to help me remember what it is like to be a student and give me a great example of how to structure a block class.  I got kicked out for talking.  I escaped the building and went outside because it was SNOWING IN THE DEEP SOUTH.  I was spotted from the classroom and brought back in.  The rumor is that I somehow locked the teacher out of her own classroom in the snow.   That is not true.

2nd block — I watched tutorials on the internet.

3rd block — I took a personality test to determine my ‘true character.’  It was one of four colors.  I was a gold.  They taught me how to get along with the other colors.  If you are an orange, we will never get along.   If you are a green, I like you a lot and I wish I was one of you.  If you are a blue, we can hang out on the weekends but I would prefer NOT working with you. I will never use this in my classroom.

4th block — Meeting to determine which students will be forced to come to after school remediation to prepare for the state test and which days I will be forced to stay after school with them.  One of my collegues suggested we come in on Saturday.  She says she’s a green, but I think she’s an orange.  And an idiot.

It is 1:32 on the Friday before Christmas break begins.

Today, there were no exams scheduled but the students were still expected to come.  School was dismissed at 12:30, but my grades were due by 12:00.  I had a half dozen students sitting in my room with nothing to do and exams to grade.  I finished and posted my grades by 9:00 am.  Now, I am sitting here waiting because we will not be dismissed until every teacher in the school has posted grades and signed grade verification forms.  We are all just waiting.  Until they tell us we can go.  I just finished watching Season 2 of Fringe.  (I can’t believe that haven’t blocked hulu yet.)

This morning at 8am, I was called to the office to talk to a parent.  She wanted to know her son’s average.  I explained that it wasn’t finished yet because her son had not finished taking the exam until 3:30 yesterday.  She replied that “some teachers stay after school to grade.”   Now, right here, my feelings were more than a little hurt.  I was very tempted to explain that I was still more than three hours ahead of the deadline.   But, I patiently explained that I had a 3:45 dentist appointment and was unable to grade after school.   I would, however, be finished in the next 30-45 minutes or  so, provided I was not interrupted.

But, I was interrupted because one of my students was allowed to take his exam in In School Suspension because of a brawl he initiated at the most recent basketball game.  I had to track down his exam.  And grade it.

Students randomly roamed the school today with no regard for rules or bells or acceptable indoor volume.

So, now I’m just waiting to be dismissed.